This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
