She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize