Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
