im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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