Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
