I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
handjob tips. give me some.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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