The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
