Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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