I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
