u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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