Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
