I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
