I can't watch pbs sober anymore
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
