You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
