oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
