you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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