You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize