i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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