u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
