remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
