Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize