So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
