She said her name was "party"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
