dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
