Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
