New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize