Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
