So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You made out with two different species that night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
