We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
