I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
