so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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