just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
