It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
this will be a night to untag.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize