We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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