somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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