Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
