I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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