wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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