triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
