You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
