Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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