I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
