he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
