I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
