Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
