Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
tell me about the fingering
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