love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
