i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
