I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
