So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
