My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
high people should be assigned attendants
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
ok first of all what the fuck
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
