Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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