My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Your tits are I can't wait for
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
