everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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