I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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