Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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