I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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