ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
birth control should be required to get into college
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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