should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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