we're blogging at a bar
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
