who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
