Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i came on her dog
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
