I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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